Wednesday, March 19

Hi, My name is Colleen

and my son is an alcoholic.

Whew! That felt good to get out. I have no clue what his obsession with drinking alcoholic beverages is, but he sure likes them. First it was Windex. That first time was SCARY. I have 2 older children who never got into anything like that. So, the first time Jack did it with the Windex I freaked. Called poison control, ect. He was fine. Second time he was sucking on a bottle of room spray. I didn't panic that time, but did exactly what they had me to the previous time. There was a third time, but I can't recall what it was, but it wasn't as bad as the first two I remember, or maybe I was just getting used to the fact that my son just likes to drink wierd stuff.

Now, just so you all know, I DO keep my cleaners under the sink with those safty things on them. I'm really not negligent, I promise! He just manages to get them every.single.time. I accidently leave them out. Come on! What mom hasn't just put the windex on the counter after she's used it. Yeah, justification. I know.

So lets fast forward to today. Brooklyn had a fever yesterday and still isn't feeling great today, so she's been laying on the couch watching cartoons while I've been picking up the house and hanging out with Jack. He and I were in Brooke's room cleaning. He left to go do who knows what. I keep my house pretty kid safe. I keep my bedroom door shut and the bathroom door shut and he can pretty much have the run of the house, I'm never worried about him. 3 or so minutes go by and I go to throw some stuff in the trash. I see him across the room with something in his mouth. I said "Jack, what are you eating?", proceeded to go throw my stuff away then walked over to him. I held out my hand for him to spit it out. He hand me....wait for it.....A PERFUME BOTTLE!!!! It was one of those sample size bottles that you can get on the corner racks at walmart that have about, oh, I'd say less the half an ounce, you know the ones I'm talking about. I remember that it had been about half full last time I used it. Now, it's empty and Jack is reeking of perfume. UGH! Nice.

So, frantic mommy hits. I race to the kitchen and pour him a cup of juice in the biggest sippy cup I could find, planted him on the floor and told him to drink. He drank it all. I'm thinking he'll be fine. I remember what the poison control lady told me last time, he'll either just be fine, or he'll puke it up. No problem. I'll just wait for a reaction. The last think I wanted to do was call poison control. They probably have my last incident in their system and think that I am doing it on purpose. I probably have a flag on my phone number. ha. Just kidding. Kinda.

15 minutes later he crawls up in the recliner and watches TV with Brooklyn and I swear to you his eyes started to glaze over...his pupils started to dilate. Alot.

I decided that it might just need to call poison control just to be safe. I love the ladies that answer the phones there. They are always so calming and knowledgeable and they never make me feel like i've done something bad. Super! They basically tell me that he is probably going to feel just a bit tipsy. Great. They said in addition to the liquid, to feed him some complex carbs throughout the day to help stabalize his blood sugar levels and just watch him, he should be just fine. They even called me an hour later to see how he was doing.

So far he is fine. He has had 2 incredibly, overly, nasty diapers though. If you knew how much I hated changing poop, yeah, it was BAD. I'm sure it was from all the juice I pumped through him, but oh.my.gosh. blueck!

Jack is napping now. I wonder if he will wake up with a hangover...

4 intellectual comments made by others:

takemetohawaii said...

Sounds like quite a little drinker you've got there. ;) I'm so glad he's ok! Scary!

Monson Family said...

Oh my GOODNESS! That is trajic! That would freak me out too! What a crazy boy! But oh so cute!

Shane said...

Wow, I didn't know Jack liked to get down like that. He really knows how to have some fun.

MamaGuymon said...

Girl this little boy gives you the run for your money I will tell ya! Poor little guy. First hang over at 2...maybe it will make him NOT want to drink when he gets older! LOL